Overwhelmed....

 Well I have been keeping to myself for quite long time now. I know on the outside that I keep up my appearance of being strong and positive. However really on the inside I am crumbling from the weight of the situation.
 See here I am a woman who is trying to do it all. Have a great family, be successful in my own business, keep up to date on style and trends and above all be happy. Really what is happiness? Is it the thought of having a loving husband, loving children and friends? I really don't know anymore.
 Part of my problem is the fact that my husband is slowly dieing from Chronic Liver Disease. I am not in denial about it, or at least I tell myself that. He once was a man of strength, a man whom I thought I could love and grow old with. Now he is just another person in my life that I must take care of. Please don't get me wrong here, I do love him for the man he once was, for being the father of my children and for those wonderful times we did share together. However I am not in love with him anymore. I stay because of  my faith and because I can't leave him in his time of need. Maybe it's better that I say I love him just not in the same way anymore.
 Lately the days are getting longer and more stressful for me because I have chosen to work six days a week to help pick up the slack. The slack; that being bring in more income and get used to being a Single Mom. See I feel that I am realist. I see the future and what it holds for me and my children. I know that eventually he won't be in the house, that I will be doing this all alone. Alone....
 So my days are filled, actually packed with everyday things. Working 16 hr days,trying to run a successful business and everything that goes along with that, running a home, raising my children, being involved in the community, volunteering at my kids activities, showing support for their interests, and also adding on being a  personal secretary or scheduler for my ailing spouse and his dimwitted mother who is really not a peach to deal with.(I'll cover her another day!) Yet some say that my plate is full, I say there is still some room on there for me somewhere......someday down the road.